Dec. 2020 Meetup Recap
Hi friends!
In today’s meetup, we processed through all that 2020 has held and prompts to think about and/or actions to take as we move into 2021.
If you google “events in 2020” - you’ll see numerous lists that detail major events of the year (like this NY Post article, CNN article, or the 2020 Wikipedia). Additionally, were extremely heavy things such as parents becoming full-time teachers on top of full-time jobs, a large amount of people losing jobs, a vast decrease in mental health, and the polarization of the election and what families chose to do over holidays.
Acknowledgement:
2020 was full of trauma. Trauma doesn’t go away. We also may have empathy fatigue and outrage fatigue (ideas obtained from The Mom Hour podcast). This is significant and needs dedicated time and space, and if desired, a professional (www.psychologytoday.com is a great resource).
Prompts for acknowledging the space we’re in (from the Women Today podcast):
How do you feel about the upcoming holiday season?
What is different for you or what disappointments are you aware of? What types of opportunities might lie there? (her example: not being able to travel for holiday, but also not having to get a small child to the airport to go to a different place and be out of routine, etc. - the opportunity being to have time and energy to be more grounded with child.)
Taking Care of Ourselves:
We talked about 2020 aligning with the idea of “death by a thousand cuts”, where you may not be aware your body is in constant fight mode until you are in the depths of an unhealthy space. Allowing ourselves to complete the stress cycle is a start (reminding our brains that we are safe and no longer need to be in fight mode once the initial threat is removed) - the Mom Hour podcast referenced has more info on this.
Next - clarify things that give you energy and nourish you - and do them. This may seem obvious, but many of us are mentally and emotionally depleted OR haven’t been taught that what they need is important, so ideas don’t come naturally. That is okay! A few prompts you can start with are the pyramid of basic needs and the wellness wheel.
Going in to 2021:
A new year doesn’t mean problems disappear. But, it does mean psychologically, our bodies and minds are open to a reset. The Women Today podcast referenced asked these two prompts:
How do I want to feel as I enter 2021? (ex: clear about goals, rested, on track with health)
What are my top priorities as I enter 2021? (ex: get pregnant, better communication with partner, show up more for aging parents)
When you know how you want to feel and what your top priorities are - work backwards. This is the basis of my coaching practice - defining a goal and working backwards to identify steps to get there. So if you want to feel rested or to prioritize sleep, decide a bed time and set an alarm, or, set an alarm an hour beforehand to get off technology to allow yourself to wind down, for example.
2020 was hard and 2021 doesn’t promise to not be hard. But friend, we can take steps to rebuild our energy and stamina by slowing down and making space. If you want to talk more about identifying needs and goals, send me a message - I’d love to talk to you!